The Sacred Contract

A reexamination of our relationship with leaders

I won’t lie; I’m writing this in a state of shock, disbelief, hurt, betrayal. Not from anything that happened to me directly, but from something I read today that I will detail below. And in thinking about it, it’s helped me solidify some thoughts I’d been having about a few different things:

1. Many of us, in our increasingly tribalized world, are so concerned with protecting our tribe or flock from outsiders and outside threats that we sometimes overlook the diseases within.

2. There’s a reason we used to expect our leaders to be people of high moral character; because when leaders fall short, the consequences are much more far reaching.

I’ll give three examples, the first of which is the impetus for this piece.

The 16th Stake

ProPublica and the Salt Lake Tribune recently published a joint investigation into one Scott Owen, a Utah therapist who allegedly abused his position to inappropriately touch gay men under the guise of therapy¹. The investigation follows a few men who were abused. One of these men revealed the following about Alan Hansen. At the time, Hansen was serving with Owen in an ecclesiastical leadership capacity and was also his business partner:

In December, according to the timeline, [Sam] (the man who was abused) told Hansen (his Stake President²) again about Owen’s touching. This time, though, he was more explicit — telling the church leader that Owen had kissed him and had engaged in heavy petting and other types of sexual touching.

“Alan acknowledged that some of Scott’s actions clearly crossed some boundaries and that was likely due to Scott’s own weaknesses,” Sam wrote. “He also stated that Scott had done something like this before — and that there were others. I don’t remember his exact language, but that was the effect of what he said.”

The article suggests that this is where the action stopped, no reporting to civil authorities or church leaders, no membership council, nothing.

Now, obviously this is a shocking and disturbing revelation in and of itself, but the reason I feel so shocked and betrayed is because I knew both of these men. They were the leaders of my stake in Provo and because of their posititions, I trusted them both. I even asked Hansen for help in picking out a therapist when I first started going to therapy. They taught me a lot about Christ’s love for me, how His Atonement can make up for my shortcomings, how to forgive myself, as well as the destructive nature of shame. Critical teachings for my life, but especially important at that point in my life. And as such, I revered these men, thought the world of them and, of course, trusted them to do the right thing.

But it seems to me that Alan Hansen, my former stake president was so worried about protecting his practice and reputation; not to mention the reputation and family of his friend and business partner, that he forgot his primary responsibility was to his flock. I like to try to give most people the benefit of the doubt and I’m sure he was motivated in part by compassion; unfortunately, it was compassion for the wrong person.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is, at least in official policy, very strict about abuse. Policies regarding it can be found here, but to sample what it says:

All members, especially parents and leaders, are encouraged to be alert and diligent and do all they can to protect children and others against abuse. If members become aware of instances of abuse, they report it to civil authorities and counsel with the bishop. Church leaders should take reports of abuse seriously and never disregard them.

And just to give another example, the Prophet recently said:

Let me be perfectly clear: any kind of abuse of women, children, or anyone is an abomination to the Lord. He grieves and I grieve whenever anyone is harmed. He mourns and we all mourn for each person who has fallen victim to abuse of any kind. Those who perpetrate these hideous acts are not only accountable to the laws of man but will also face the wrath of Almighty God.

Because our teachings are so clear, I expected my leaders to take them seriously. However, applying these principles in a lay ministry gets tricky. And unfortunately, it in far too many cases, leaders forget that their primary responsibility is to their flock and the truth, not to defending their friends or businesses or even protecting the church from the prying eyes of the Salt Lake Tribune. I feel that same tendency, “Let’s handle this internally, no need to bring in outsiders who don’t understand us.” Unfortunately, that desire - often motivated by compassion and protective instincts - can lead to dire consequences, as illustrated above or in the more well known case of the Catholic church.

Republicans

I see this same phenomenon as the reason for the rot in the Republican party. You probably saw my piece on a Republican platform I would support. I wrote that because there is no Republican platform and even less Republican leadership. Republicans have been on the defensive, culturally and socially, for so long that they have no positive vision for the future. The entire party is dedicated to defending its constituency from “Leftism,” which is a broad, nebulous ideology that apparently is a danger to Americans. Elected officials, who should be trying to improve the lives of their constituents, instead take their constituents’ money and turn around and lie and pass blame so that they don’t have to take hard votes and risk losing their seats. When a member of their party clearly breaks the law or their oath of office, these “leaders” pander to people they look down on, in order to keep their jobs and win elections.

Unfortunately, what this amounts to is a hard pivot to being “purer” than the other guys. There’s no room for criticizing your own party, because that’s a lack of purity. And because our leaders have lost their spine, when people do show an ounce of integrity, they’re derided by other “leaders” and threatened by the masses. Mitt Romney, a former Republican presidential candidate, is forced to spend millions on private security because he opposes Trump. Former members of congress, who were by no means moderates, have been derided as RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) and forced out of congress for taking principled stances against Trump and the particular brand of fascism that he espouses. Deeply conservative commentators such as David French are threatened and doxxed because they criticize their own party.

The instinct to protect and defend our tribe has twisted into something nearly unrecognizable. And leader has come to be synonymous with fear-monger. What started with, “Hey, back off, only I can criticize my own party” has become, “If you criticize my party, you must be a Democrat.” And 20 years ago, being a Democrat wouldn’t have been so bad, but in a world where losing an election is talked about as literally existential, Democrats are not just political opponents, but enemies. So great is the elite spine-rot that, in order to win elections, they’re telling Americans that their neighbors are the enemy.

Un Christlike Christians

I recently attended the Atlantic Festival, a two-day event with interviews, panels, and discussions with great thinkers from politics, culture, and even sports. One of those interviews was with Russell Moore, a former Southern Baptist. Moore left his denomination because many in the leadership of the church had begun to make the - mostly implicit - argument that, “To save the church, we need to give up being Christlike.” Unfortunately, this isn’t an isolated incident. I see this from prominent Christian influencers such as Jordan Peterson as well as in online communities of members of my own faith such as the DezNat (short for Deseret³ Nation) community on X.

Again, this is just missing the point. Christianity is not a club to belong to, it’s not a community organization, it’s not a gym, it’s not even an ideology. It’s a belief that Jesus Christ was and is the Son of God, that He lives, and that His teachings are the teachings of God and following those teachings is a moral imperative. And Jesus Christ taught peace.

When he was being arrested to be put to death, Peter cut off the ear of one of Christ’s captors and Christ reprimanded Peter; when a woman caught in the act of adultery was brought to him to be stoned, he peacefully taught not to condemn others; whereas the Law of Moses taught “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,” Christ taught “love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.” Too many leaders have become so obsessed with defending those in their faith, that, in many cases, they’ve stopped living their faith. Unfortunately, this isn’t limited to Christianity - the celebration of the attacks in Israel by those who otherwise tend towards peace is a great example.

When leaders forget that their imperative is the wellbeing of their flock or the advancement of their ideas and not fighting their “enemies”, this sort of Puritanical ethos of fighting heresy and destroying heretics emerges. When our allies are demanding heads on pikes, it’s a true leader’s job to overlook the human desire for revenge and think about the bigger picture. This becomes increasingly difficult when you look around and see a race to the bottom, but courage is resisting the urge to do what’s easy and doing what’s right.

Wrapping it up

I guess what I’m getting at is that the sacred contract between leader and follower is being trampled on. In too many instances, rather than doing what’s right, which can often be hard and scary, people we trust are letting us down. Whether it be to protect a loved one or win an election or satisfy the mob, the people we trust to steer the ship have let go of the wheel and are going where the currents direct.

In any company, family, friend group, or community it can be much too easy to go with the flow, continue on the path of least resistance. We can too easily be so caught up in defending the tribe that we forget to check on the tribe or even make sure we’re fighting enemies and not allies. It’s harder to hurt someone we love than to protect someone we don’t know or to sacrifice security for moral clarity. We avoid discomfort these days to a fault and I guess what I’m saying is that we should be able to expect that our leaders will be different. I guess what I’m advocating for is just that those in positions of power and those who follow reexamine the sacred contract they signed and take more seriously the responsibility of the leader. Because if we don’t expect our leaders to captain the ship now, soon the easy, breezy currents will turn to storms and then it will be too late⁴.

1. A follow up article can be found here.

2. For those of you reading this who are not familiar with Latter-day Saint congregations, here’s a little crash course. Congregations are call “wards,” the leader of a congregation is called a Bishop, he has two counselors. Bishops are responsible for the welfare, spiritual and physical, of their congregation. A group of 5-12 congregations makes up a "stake,” the leader of a stake is the Stake President, he also has two counselors. He is responsible for the spiritual wellbeing of the stake, which in practice usually means the Stake President spends most of his time overseeing and training the bishops and other leaders, rather than trying to minister to the thousands of members in his purview.

3. Deseret is designated as a word for Honeybee in an ancient language in The Book of Mormon. It was the original proposed name for the state of Utah, which many in this online community associate with a theocracy. I don’t know for sure, but I imagine many of the people in this community are incels (involuntarily celibit).

4. *cough* the speakership fight *cough*